Oval Regrets

I’m not a man,at least not for now

Missiles fly and explode

At my simple thumbs up or thumbs down

Behind this suit is a heavy vest

Behind that is a beating heart

My predecessors warn me that they can

Never warn me of what’s to come from the start

I feel the weight folding my skin

For this job I’ve accepted adversaries

As dear friends

The problems I’m here to solve never end

I can’t call mother on that red phone

No matter how big the trouble

This job has shown me that

There is never enough room to roam

No matter how large the bubble

As I am now I know you cannot relate

Decisions I make affect

What’s on your plate

I’ve grown anxious for that last

Official play of ” Hail To The Chief”

In a few years I’ll be able

To properly absorb all this grief

Post-Erotica

And nine months later

I’ll still be smiling

Kissing you on the cheek

As the baby’s noise is riling

Another heartbeat to cherish

As I do yours

Another mouth to nourish

But it couldn’t be further from a chore

Our baby has my eyes and your hair

What sight to adore

That’ll Be Me

That’ll be me, consider this prophecy

The old man patting his dogs head

Under the shade of a tree

Face showing a hollow smile

Attempting to hide his deep self reflection

Attempting to hide his regrets

Attempting to hide his loathsome mood

Face begins to tell a true story

As he thinks of his brighter moments

Glancing at his wedding band for

For that lovey feeling in his heart to foment

That’ll be me, lounge chair in the unmerciful sun

Defying my caretakers

From a far I can see the moves

As I admire the youth of chess players

A smile at memories of victory

As well as those of defeat

Declining respectfully my younger peers

That’ll be me,

Watching my loved ones mourning my last days

Bowing humbly as I can from bed

As they all somberly pray

Observing efforts made to make the younger

Understand that Grampa is going away

Feeling myself leaving, the more I cease

The more at peace

Giving in on this Earth body’s lease

Drop A Rose

Drop a rose on the headstone that was once love
This is eulogy, afterwards we shall release doves
No more suffering,its funny how I’m the only griever
Another love of mine has been touched by the Reaper

Drop a rose on the headstone of what we’ll never know
After the doves released we’ll release one crow
No more attempts to resurrect you, I’ll accept the fact that your gone
Hope I’ll find the strength to move on

Killed My Bitch

I open the door of my home

Back from a business trip

I smell perfume, cologne

And hear a Radio Raheem song skip

I hear a feminine moan

I hear masculine grunts

My bitches voice with a playful scream

And the dude asking cockily “This what you want?”

Now with all this observed

My eyebrows begin to furrow

Arms begin to shake as I think

I should get my gun and some ammo

I’m gonna shoot them if he’s Anglo

I’m gonna shoot them if he’s Afro

Gonna hang them when I rope them

After I gather him and the heifer with a lasso

I open the door on them banging

They stop suddenly and use the sheets to cover up

I say ” Nah, go right ahead and finish this nut”

An orgasm is a little death, a preview of what’s next

So yes at gunpoint I made the fuckers have sex

I giggled as the dude couldn’t get hard

I watched and laughed

Told my bitch to go ahead and help him

Don’t be lady like on my behalf

So while she gave the dude a jerk

I was giving them both a smirk

Made eye contact with the dude

I made sure that he was irked

I got up and pushed the broad

Pistol whipped the dude in the jaw

Said “this what you do when I’m gone

I should kill both of y’all”

But I played with them some more

Tic-Tac- Toe with my gun cocked

But of course my rhymes rock

So before they got shot

I said “Hickory, Dickery Dock

My bitch likes other cocks

While I’m out paying bills

She’s getting her bed rocked

What’s a faithful man to do

How do I go on about my day”

That’s when I finally shot them both

Right as they started to pray

Not Again

Do you wish I died

Quite frankly

Once did I

But God plays a trick on me

And makes me invincible

When I attempt suicide

Swallowing a handful

Of asprin barely gave me a 30

Minute nap

With a splitting head ache I woke up

Depressed, but still laughed at that

Dry heaving, can’t walk straight

My right ear keeps ringing

Eyes teary eyed and blurry

As my head keeps ringing

Do you wish I died?

Quite frankly so do I

Will can weaken the from that moment

But patterns sparkle in my eye

So blades may break against my neck

Bullets may ricochet off my head

There will be no second attempt

I take it as a sign,I’m better off undead

Chewed Up And Spit Out

She said she wanted my
My broken heart for dinner
For dessert she desired
My liver, with every bite
She took of me it’s affects take me
Like liquor
Her saliva must be poison
No serum to her venom
I’m another man down
Another helpless victim
A sick feeling in my guts
She wants those too
Somehow I give them to her
Just to hear, ” I love you”
With only my eyes left
I see I make her sick
She’s puking most of me out
Whipping her lips of spit
Now I’m mostly mush
Eaten by the rush of lust
My heart is some broads puke
Now ain’t that a cuss
I’m a stain on the floor
No mop can cleanse
I’m off to dry
No need for amends
After you call Earl
Your meal with Me ends

To An End

A part of me died on my first concussion

I’d say my fear of death

While unconscious I learned my destiny

And learned the moment of my last breath

A part of me died when I knew

I couldn’t trust those I honored

That part of me died that accepted people

Now I’d rather not be bothered

A part of me died when I saw loved ones backs

Grow further from reach

A part of me dies when I think about how

Me and once close rarely speak

A part of you dies as you grow up

Optimism and truth become antonyms

Life itself becomes ironic

Living and death becomes synonyms

Depression becomes reality

Blood becomes your toxin

Begin to feel trapped

Boxed, then locked in

Stripped of dreams you becomes

A soul comes to an empty inventory

In beyond low spirits

I come to an end of this story

Love Letters

I climbed out of the “O” today
While trying to stand I looked over
And saw an “L”
I jumped onto it to get away
From the whole which is the “O”
But the “L” bounced me right back into the “O”
It took a while…But I did it again
I climbed out of the “O”
This time I stood up and saw a “V”
I jumped onto it to get away
From the whole which is the “O”
And made a perfect landing
While on the “V” I see a door
It’s shaped as an “E”
I jumped onto the door
Opened it and got the hell out of there

Spin Relief

.38 revolve like the sun and the earth
Play Russian Roulette, winner ends up in the dirt
Loser gets to live, give and receive pain
Let the natural electricity inside him shock his brain
Let him realize that whats to gain, is all vain
Because he grew up to know that all his pleasure actually brought pain

.44 revolve like the sun and the earth
locked in a car, a young man questions his own worth
He pulled the hammer back, let it go and it didn’t work
He thought it was destiny,he shot everyone up where he works

.45 revolve like the sun and the earth
round and round the rims go, of your own hearst
This one didn’t kill himself, he just didn’t squeeze first
Played ten steps and spin and got wet from a guns squirt